I'm a wave-walker! I'm dancing on water! When the devil tries to shake me, I just pray harder! Even in my darkest hour, got Holy Ghost power! When I keep my eyes upon You, Jesus, I'm a wave-walker -- wave-walker!
After I finished jamming out to Citizen Way, I was struck with a convicting thought, one I've had often in my life but feel I should share now: I am exactly like Peter in Matthew 14. And, I mean exactly. I am a wave walker. And, I am a saltwater guzzler.
I'm not a songwriter or perhaps I'd write a catchy jam about my guzzling habits. Try singing this to the tune of the aforementioned Wavewalker:
I guzzle salt water. When my eyes falter. When I get distracted by my life, and I don't focus. I find my self-stumblin' and my spirit bumblin'. When I take my eyes off of you Jesus I guzzle salt water, salt water.
Rough around the edges, I know, but you get the point.
I was driving down the road and had this AH HA moment. You know the kind - where it's clearly the Holy Spirit all up in ya business - yeah that moment.
You see, I was having a bit of trouble dealing with Caitlin again. I found myself feeling old things that I was previously having victory over, settling back in. For me, those things looked like fear, anxiety, and oppression. For you, they may look totally different, but regardless of what their names are, we know what they are for us. And to bring you totally up to date, I had been asking the Lord to help me, once again, have victory in these areas.
Cue my *dancing*
Cue the AH HA all up in my business Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit pulled out that old Sunday school story of Peter in Matthew 14 when he's walking on the water and then... well, ya know... not. Suddenly, in the story, Peter's drowning.
Looking at this story we like to shame Peter because he takes his eyes off of Jesus and places them on the things around him. Hence the drowning experience. Y'all, we are always shaming Peter, but I don't know about you, I'm normally always Peter in the story. And, that's what the Holy Spirit wanted to show me.
In this particular case, the reason why I was starting to struggle with Caitlin again, wasn't because God had stopped fighting my battles. Umm... No. It was because I had become distracted by everything around me and not looking at Jesus.
When I started to take inventory of my time, it did not look good. I was spending more time entertaining Caitlin than I was investing in my relationship with Jesus. I was spending more time on the phone with people talking about my worries and fears then I was talking to Jesus about them. Due to work I was unable to gather with believers as often I was used to and I wasn't diligently seeking a way to remedy that because I was tired or timid.
So what do you think happened?
*Crash* Waves ended up going over my head instead of under my feet. *Guzzle* Salt water does not taste nearly as refreshing as living water.
But hey friends, all is not lost - it NEVER is with Jesus.
Remember Matthew 14 and Peter's story? The Holy Spirit reminded me of the entire story, not just the crashing waves and drowning portion. When Peter called out for Jesus, He was there. And Jesus lifted him up to, once again, be a wave walker. (Matthew 14:30-31"But when he saw the wind, he was afraid, and beginning to sink he cried out, “Lord, save me.” Jesus immediately reached out his hand and took hold of him...")
And, the same goes for us!
When the Holy Spirit got all up in my business I was like, "Oh my goodness, You are so right. I'm so sorry." You can do the same. But we can't stop there or we'll keep guzzling saltwater. We have to reach for Jesus and get back up on top of the waves.
So whatever the Holy Spirit reveals we need to attempt to remedy. For example, I need to put down Facebook and Hulu and spend some time with Jesus. I need to find a group of believers to meet with that meets when I'm not working. I need to run to Jesus with my problems before I run to my squad (can I get an Amen?).
Side Note: Please, hold me accountable because these are all legit things for me.
To wrap up this epiphany that I had to share with all of my blogosphere friends:
Here's to all of you wave walkers! Keep on keepin' on!
And, here's to all of you saltwater guzzlers. We've all been there, including Peter. I simply hope that you have your AH HA moment soon and reach out for Jesus' hand!
As for me, I'm going to keeping on *dancing* because the Holy Spirit is still working on me Y'all, but you know what? With my renewed focus and His help, I can claim that I'm a wave-walker! I'm dancing on water!
When I keep my eyes upon You, Jesus, I'm a wave-walker -- wave-walker!